Role Reversal: Who wears the pants?

In an earlier and much simpler time, the role of men and women were clearly defined. The man went out to the farm or to hunt and the women cooked whatever they brought back and tended the huts or caves. Later, men started enlisting women in farming activities. Before long, women began to think of industries outside the home that could bring in more income in the home. Nowadays, it is no longer shocking that in many homes the woman is the sole provider of all the financial needs of the family. Is this a disturbing trend or not? Let’s look at what the Bible has to say about this.

1Tim 5:8 says: “But if any provideth not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

Many people quote the above scripture to point out that men have to provide for their family. It is not an option. It is a necessity. But, sometimes things are not always that cut and dried. What if the man suddenly loses his job? Or becomes permanently handicapped? Or has a job but is unable to make as much as he wants to even though he makes a concerted effort to do so?

A friend gave me this scenario. Suppose a married man earns a 100k and his wife earns 300k. His salary is just the exact amount to pay all the bills and then he has nothing left over. Is he expected to do everything and let the woman keep all her money just because he is the man? I think there will be problems in such a situation. In my personal opinion, the family will do well to pool all their money together as the net income and make a budget based on that. It will be preposterous for the man to say since his wife earns three times as much as he does; the wife should shoulder all the responsibilities since she would still have over 200k left over. Unfortunately, a lot of men today have that mentality. In the Old Testament, we are told of a curse that was placed on the people where 7 women will suddenly take hold of one man and say: “We will provide our own food and shelter only let us bear your name.” It was a curse then and it is a curse now. Women were never meant to be providers in the home; their role was to be that of helpers. We should not turn them into what they are not.

Today’s men are being emasculated. Not just by the feminist movement but because many of them are refusing to stand up for their role as men. Research has shown that men who do not earn as much as their wives and do not provide are more likely to become more overly suspicious, controlling and develop an inferiority complex. Their wives are also more likely to become more disrespectful nag and even have affairs outside the home because they no longer have any regard for their husbands. Note that I said: “more likely.” There are always exceptions to the rule. It is worthy to note that in the grand scheme of things, men are not supposed to be lazy or stingy.

I do not in any way endorse those women who suddenly lose respect for their husbands just because he lost his job or is unable to provide because of a temporary setback. He is still the head of the home whether he has a broken back or not. Whether you have more fancy degrees or not. Wives should not pressure their husbands to achieve more than he can.  There’s a difference towards pressurizing someone and encouraging the person. Comparing their husbands with other men only leads to nothing but trouble. Women are supposed to encourage their husbands especially when they see the man is making concerted efforts to do the best he can.

Today’s permissive society has a lot to learn from the traditional values. When it comes to the family, the men are the only ones permitted to wear the pants in the relationship. They only need to learn to do what it takes to make them worthy to wear such apparel.


Master of Your Thoughts


WordWeb Dictionary defines thought as: ‘The process of using your mind to consider something carefully’.

Your thoughts are as living plants at various stages of growth. They begin as little, seemingly inconsequential seeds. They start as suggestions from whatever spirit is charge of your life at any point in time.

So, what is the big deal about your thoughts?

1. Your thoughts define you

Proverbs 23:7; For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.

Your thought-life determines your character and shapes your personality. The content of your thoughts will always find expression in what you say and how you say it, in how you react to situations, in the quality of your person. It determines whether people who encounter you leave you blessed or mortified.

2. Your thoughts have power.

Thoughts can serve as a vehicle for the release of unlimited power. Positive thoughts uplift us. Godly thoughts elevate us to positions of authority and power. Power for what?

Power to know God: Psalms 139:17

Power to give and receive love.

Power to conquer sin.

Power to gain abundance: Proverbs 21:5;

etc, etc……..

Unlimited manifold power!

3. Your thoughts do not end with you. Your thoughts affects others.

Every good action started with a thought. Every evil action started with a thought. Imagine how beautiful our world would be if everybody in it had only good thoughts!

4. Your thoughts dictate a significant part of your experience in life’s journey.

Your thoughts give rise to actions which give rise to consequences which affect you either positively or negatively. By the time your life is over, your experience will be the sum of your actions and their consequences and everything else that life threw at you.

5. Your thoughts determine what/who you attract.

You will attract people who have a similar mindset to yours. Your thought-life is like a piece of clothing you wear in the realm of the spirit. People with the same mindset as yours will locate you. Those who have a mission to help you become better will locate you. Those who want to make you bad will locate you as well. Your character will help you to filter out good and bad. And your character is a product of your thought pattern over time!

6. Your thoughts determine your overall health and well-being.

Many sicknesses begin in the mind. A lot of people are hurting and feeling really sick in our world today. Forget the make-believe, smoke-screen and make-up. People are hurting all over the world. And wrong thoughts are usually the cause. Their own, or that of people around them.

O, how lovely would it be, if we all had pure, lovely and beautiful thoughts!

Galatians 5:17–For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh:

How then can you master your thoughts?

Simple. You can’t.

Well, it’s not something you can do on your own. The first step to achieving mastery of your thoughts is to recognise and accept that you can’t do it alone. You need help.

You need Jesus to help you with that.

It should not be too difficult for you to accept this. Probably, you have tried to do it on your own many times, with your own methods. If your doctor/pharmacist gave you some miracle experimental drug to help you, would you take it?

So, you should accept this free gift of abundant power to be in control. First, you must surrender all the authority you have accorded yourself. You must surrender to Jesus Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5–Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

You can do this by praying a simple prayer of repentance:

Dear Lord, I know I have sinned in my thoughts, words and actions. I ask you to forgive me and to give me the power to think new, holy and pure thoughts. I surrender my mind to Your Mind. Thank you Jesus.

Congratulations! The work has just started. In the next few days, weeks or months, you will have to endure a great flurry of temptations to revert back to the former patterns. You see, you are too valuable for the devils to release you just like that. They will put up some fight.

Romans 12:2–And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Renew your mind every day. The Lord may impress on you to avoid some types of places, some types of films, some types of books, some types of…….

Pure thoughts are not a destination. You should never feel you have arrived and then relax. It is a continuous process of self-renewal.

Choose to be obedient. You will feel deprived in the beginning. Later on, the beauty that will overwhelm your life will make all those things meaningless to you.

Study the Bible and Bible-inspired spiritual and motivational books. Sing wholesome songs. Pray in the Holy Spirit if you have been blessed already.

Phillipians 4:8—Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

God bless you.

via Brother Victor.

Soul Brother

I didn’t know someone like you could exist. That I could connect with another human being on such a deep level that it seemed ethereal. When you nearly crushed my foot with your Nikes that windy Sunday afternoon, I didn’t know I had gained an eternal friend.
That was the first of our many football games together; those we played and those we went to watch in the viewing centres. You always were much braver than I was; suggesting those crazy pranks that we played on roommates, that hike you made us take down that trail, the long trek up the hill…you beat me at everything, well except tennis. Why do you think I always wanted us to go to the court every Saturday?
You were my cheerleader during exams telling me how you knew I would pass even when I was sweaty and afraid, and there was none prouder than you when you heard I made distinctions in my courses even though all you got were credits. That night, when I told you about my parents, the first person I had told since they separated, you didn’t ruffle my hair and tell me it was alright. Instead, you told me about God. You made me open the Bible and i discovered a world in that I had never known. Then we became brothers in more ways than one.
Our friends called us ‘the Siamese.’ I was either at your room or you were in mine. I didn’t even know how we had time for girls. But, somehow we did and even though you found yours before mine, you held my hand through the javelins I recieved and the break-ups and fights. You were the first person I told when she said yes. The one I wanted beside me when I said my vows before God and man.
Now, I am glad that twenty years since we first met, you’re still in my life. Last week I told you, you were getting grey in your hair. And then you pointed out a bald spot in mine. We might change physically, and I believe we’ll both get to see our grandkids become football stars, but even if we don’t, I know one thing won’t change. We’ll still be best friends and brothers…to the very end.
P.S: Men have generally been perceived as unemotional creatures incapable of real bonds or attachment. However, we do have the Biblical story of David and Jonathan hence such relationships must exist. Do you have a soul brother or know someone that has one? Share your experiences with us.