What Love Is…Naija Kids Version

Love….Kids

:naija kids

What is Love?
My mother always serves my daddy 3 pieces of meat, then serves herself one, sometimes she doesn’t take any, that’s love. (Chioma age 10)
Love is when you give someone the last dodo on your plate. (Solape, age 8)
Love is when my mummy and my daddy wear the same clothes on Sunday. (Kola, age 9)
Love is an intense feeling of affection and care towards another person. (Isaac, age 11)

How do you decide whom to marry?
You write the name of the people who want to marry you, then you take it to alagba in the church, he will pray and tell you. (Folake age 9)
You will go to Ori-Oke for 7 days then you will see vision of whom to marry. ( Pelumi, age 9)
You will look at the girl very well. You will look at her front and her back. If you like what you see then marry her. (Ikenna age 10)
By the help of God. (Isaac, age 11)

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
If they sit down together in the car for hours and don’t talk to each other(Marvelous, age 10)
If when they want to talk to each other they start by calling each other-“Daddy , “Mummy”(Eniade age 8)
The stranger will see the love between them-the guy will always be around the gal(stalking)- (Isaac, age 11)

How will you escape from a first date turning sour?
I will call my daddy to come and carry me.(Tinuke, age 8)
I will tell him I have stomach upset and go to the toilet and never come back. (Solape, age 8)
I will tell her I have Evola (Timothy, age 11)

How will you make a marriage work?
I will take my wife to see the pastor. (Femi, age 9)
I will hire a house help to help me do all the work. (Solape age 8)
By the help of God.(Isaac, age 11)
Is it better to be single or married?
It is better to be married. All my mum’s friends are married and rich and they travel to Dubai every month. (Eniade, age 8)
It is better to be single so I can be allowed to play my play-station in peace. (Isaac, age 11)
Choiceful (Temilade, age 10)

How do you get someone to fall in love with you?
You will sing Davido’s ‘Baby Hello’ to them. (Dele, age 10)
You will send them your picture on Facebook (Jumoke, age 10)
Check the internet, it helped me a lot. ( Timothy, age 11)

P.S: Have you ever asked your kid brother or sister these questions? What were their responses? Let us know in the comment box.

The Cougar

The Cougar.(Or her younger sister)

cougar

She stoops to conquer. She is majestic and strong even at her age. A timeless beauty. She is everything you want. Maternal, matured, settled. You don’t have to worry about her throwing tantrums or begging for your attention. She will never worry you about money or whine about the bills. She seems just perfect. The above description could depict a woman who is in a relationship with a younger man.

Despite the permissive society we live in, dating a younger man is still frowned upon. Hence we’ve turned such women into sugar-mummies. I personally do not condone a woman marrying someone young enough to be her son( the boy might just not be mature enough to cope) but what about marrying someone a few years younger? Someone who knows where he is going and is planning on getting there soon. Why throw away a man with potential just because his birth date happens to be some months behind yours? I have never seen it written anywhere in the bible that a man must marry a woman that is younger than him but it appears if one tries to break that law then the person is breaking the eleventh commandment.
The main argument against not marrying a younger man is their lack of maturity. It is true that a lot of them are. But we must try to remember that not one size fits all. Not all younger men are immature. Not all of them want to marry an older woman just because she has more change in her pocket. The society is very harsh on women who date younger men assuming that most of the time the man is only in it for the money. They might argue that rich older women may see a younger man as someone they could control or dominate; they could see a young man as a project.
But, it could also be harsh on the men too. Men that date younger women may be referred to as gigolos or boy toy. Even if he becomes a success on his own, it would always be assumed that his wife’s money had something to do with it. He might never be respected or be seen as the head of his family. Some might try to make up for that perceived loss of ego by being unnecessarily cruel or harsh with their wives.
For those with a shorter age difference, say two years or less, the odds are that it will be easier to maintain an atmosphere of mutual respect. However, whatever be the case, being involved with a younger man is never a walk in the park. That’s why it’s important to examine motives for wanting such a relationship. To the man, will you be willing to date her without her money? To the woman, do you see the man as a project? What about conviction? Before taking any step in a relationship, it is important to be sure that you know exactly what you are doing. There are success stories of older women and younger men, although they are a few. I believe that these couples had something the other couples did not; the right motives and conviction.
The truth of the matter is, we are all looking for that special someone. But in order for us to find them, mustn’t we be willing to recognize them in whatever form they take? Be it older or younger, shorter or taller? The important thing is that we’re happy, right?
P.S: Let us know what you think in the comment box.

Anger: Would you push the button?

Anger Would You Push The Button?

angry-people
Have you ever pushed somebody’s buttons before? I have. I deliberately kept a man known for fits of temper waiting for an hour. When I finally wanted to attend to him, he looked like he was going to choke me. Thank God he didn’t.(chuckle). Its no wonder then that  Jesus talked about anger and killing in the same context.(Matt 5: 21-22) A “Psychology Today” survey asked, “If you could secretly push a button and thereby eliminate any person with no repercussions to yourself, would you press that button?” 69% of men and 56% of women responding to this poll said yes!
When I read that, I thought of an angry preacher in Scripture: Jonah. Even though Jonah experienced outward success, internal issues were also brewing. After referring to the positive outcome of his ministry campaign in Nineveh, Scripture says Jonah was displeased exceedingly. Shortly after this, Jonah said to God ;”It is right for me to be angry, even to death!” There is an old saying: “Depression is anger turned inward.” At least in Jonah’s case, that old saying appears to be true.
We sometimes only think of anger in terms of those that have an explosive personality, but some people live at a “low boil.” They’ve learned how to project composure, but internally, they are angry. Others exhibit passive-aggressive tendencies, bringing frustration to others through their covert procrastination, stubbornness, and undermining behavior. Christians, especially ministers, are not “supposed” to be angry, and therefore, often end up suppressing feelings of anger and putting on a professional front for the public.

Where does anger come from?

Les Carter and Frank Minirth, in “The Anger Workbook,” called anger “the emotion of self preservation” and said it relates to our sense of personal worth, essential needs, and basic convictions. They state that we are most likely to become angry when:

* We perceive rejection or invalidation from people. In other words, we feel that our dignity has been demeaned and that we are not being respected.
* We are weary of having to live without our basic needs being noticed by others. The resulting anger is a type of protest for our needs not being met.
* We believe that others are insensitive to our most basic convictions. For example, we take pride in our work, but co-workers are careless and apathetic.

Other factors would include pride, impatience, unrealistic expectations, fear, a sense of inferiority, and loneliness. Regardless of the source, there is a type of anger that is harmful to us. Various studies have shown not only the emotional toll from harbored anger, but also the physical damage (increased risk of heart disease, peptic ulcers etc).

Spiritual  Ramifications?

No doubt Moses faced enormous frustrations in dealing with his congregation, but he paid a great price because of anger. At one point, God told Moses to “speak to the rock” and it would bring forth water. Instead, Moses acted out of anger, and said, “Hear now, you rebels! Must we bring water for you out of this rock?” The next verse says, “Moses lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod…” It was at this point that God told Moses and Aaron that they would not be bringing the people into the Promised Land. What a price he paid because anger governed him instead of God’s Word!

A lady once came to Billy Sunday and tried to rationalize her angry outbursts. “There’s nothing wrong with losing my temper,” she said. “I blow up, and then it’s all over.” “So does a shotgun,” Sunday replied, “and look at the damage it leaves behind!”

But is All Anger Bad?

“Human anger” won’t get us to the right place, but is there truly such a thing as “righteous indignation?” We know that Jesus experienced anger but it caused him to act constructively. Another time Jesus became angry in response to spiritual corruption. Paul said, “Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil” (Eph. 4:26-27).  So this there a positively motivating type of response we can have to anger?
* Bede Jarrett says: “The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.”
*“The man who gets angry at the right things and with the right people, and in the right way and at the right time and for the right length of time, is commended.” (Aristotle)
* Martin Luther said, “I never work better than when I am inspired by anger. When I am angry I can write, pray and preach well; for then my whole temperament is quickened, my understanding sharpened, and all mundane vexations and temptations depart.”

What Do We Do With Anger?

Whether your tendency is to turn anger inward and hurt yourself, or to turn anger outward and hurt others, we all need God’s help in dealing with anger. A good way of dealing with anger is to manage it constructively. A brilliant student was once accused of cheating on a test after obtaining high scores. He was then asked to re-write the test. He never complained and his expression never changed. He re-wrote the test and scored even higher when the result came out. May God help us be honest about any anger we face and give us grace to deal with it positively, productively, and constructively.

Adapted from an article by Tony Cooke