Focus on the family

Focus on the family.
Bonne Anniversaire.
“Sweetheart, we need to hurry up.” You say as you jump out of bed. She still hugs the covers but you snatch them off her as she groans.
“What day is it?” she asks groggily.
“Tuesday,” you say hurriedly as if you pick out your clothes from your wardrobe.
“Where’s my breakfast?” your wife asks chirpily.
You look at her askance to be sure she’s not still sleeping. She looks wide awake.
“What are you talking about honey?”’ you ask her confused. “It’s time for devotion.”
Your wife gets out of bed with a frown and you wonder what sort of dream she must have had in the night.
After devotion, you quickly hurry away not forgetting to give your wife a goodbye peck on the cheeks. She moves her head to avoid it. You are puzzled but you are already running late to the office. And you have two important meetings today.
“Ok honey. See you later,” you say as you zoom off. Perhaps she was still sleepy or not just in a good mood.
At around 2pm, you get a breather and check your phone. No messages from your wife. That was odd. Perhaps she was tied up at work.
“Hi babe,” you type a BBM message and return to work.
She does not respond even up to three hours later..
You shrug. She must be really busy. Around 7pm, you get home from work thankful that you did not spend too much time in traffic. Your wife is already home watching TV. You go over to hug her but she does not respond. This is very odd. Your wife is usually a very warm person.
“Honey, what is the matter?” you ask her puzzled.
“What is the matter? What is the matter?” she repeats loudly.
You are confused.
“What day is it?”
“Tuesday,” you say scratching your head.
“What is today’s date?” she presses, eyes blazing.
“It’s the 16th,” you begin to say mechanically as realization dawns. You feel very silly. How could you have forgotten your wedding anniversary?
“It’s just our third wedding anniversary Jim,” she says with a hint of tears in her eyes. “What would happen when it’s our 25th?”
You want to comfort your wife. You want to tell her how much you love her and how sorry you are but you cannot find the words. You really wish you had listened when she told you to pay more attention to dates.
P.S: How important are wedding anniversaries? Is it fussy if you insist that your spouse remember your anniversary and make it a special day? Or is forgetting anniversaries one of the unforgivable sins? What would you consider an excessive or acceptable celebration of a wedding anniversary? Share your thoughts with us.




Focus on the family

A family that prays together…
From somewhere far away, you rouse and awaken. You look at the time. 6.30 am. There is no miracle for this. You will most definitely be late. You look over at your wife who is still sleeping, smiling in her sleep. Possibly dreaming of the other angels she had left behind in heaven before coming to meet you. You wish she had woken you up though. She knew what a sound sleeper you were. But you couldn’t fault her since you had kept her awake last night. You shake her gently. She moans and turns over.
“Honey wake up,” you say beside her ear.
She gets up groggily and rubs her eyes. Then you run into the shower.
“My goodness,” you hear her say over the running water. She obviously has looked at the time.
“‘Let’s try to hurry up dear,” you call out to her. “We might still make it to the office before its too late.”
“Dear, do you realize we haven’t prayed yet?” she asks in that soft voice of hers.
You hit your head with the sponge. Of course! It was your duty as head of the family to ensure that prayers were said every morning. What was that phrase? A family that prays together, stays together. But this morning?
“Honey, are you done? I need to get into the shower,” your wife calls out. You sigh in frustration. You’ve been there for only half a minute. You reach for the towel and skip out of the bathroom.
You manage to cram 3 slices of toast in your mouth with a swig of tea. You look at the time. It is 7.00. If there isn’t too much traffic, you can still make it to the office by 8. But then, your keys decide to get missing. So you search all over the house and waste fifteen minutes before you find it under your pillow. You decide just to be thankful that you’ve found it. Before you can leave though, the wife comes out of the bedroom, all dressed up and sipping tea.
“Honey, we haven’t prayed yet,” she reminds you as she gulps down the remains of her tea. Then she takes hold of your hand. A sigh escapes your lips. This has to be done.
“Father, as we go on our way today we commit ourselves into your hands. Let us have cause to glorify your name at the end of the day In Jesus name.”
Before your wife finishes saying amen, your hand is on the doorknob. 7.30 am. You will never make it in time. You shake your head as you move towards the car. Now, its just the two of you. If you can’t find time to pray now, what would happen when you have kids?
“Darling,” your wife calls out as you put the keys in the ignition. “You really have to work out how we can spend more time as a family praying together. Remember you are the priest of this home.”
“Yeah yeah,” you mutter to yourself as you back out of the driveway. Leave it to your wife to leave the difficult jobs to you. Why did devotions seem much easier when you were single?

P.S: If this scenario exists in Christian homes today, then there might be trouble. How easy is it and realistic is it for a Christian family to always pray together?

Focus on the family

Focus on the family.


The ‘look alike’ look.

“It’s Tinuke’s wedding next week,” your wife calls out from the bedroom while you pore over some documents at the table. You  have a presentation at the office the following week and you want everything to be perfect. You really cannot remember who Tinuke is. You are hoping she will provide more information so you wisely keep your mouth shut.

“You know Tinuke now, that my second cousin?” your wife volunteers. “She sent her aso ebi to my office yesterday. She said its 10k for six yards. I think if we do it well we can both manage the 6 yards.”

“Hmm,” you say non-committal. Inwardly you bristle. Another 10k unbudgeted for, just because of a second cousin’s wedding. Actually you don’t mind spending that amount for a relative’s wedding. You would gladly use that money to buy her a gift rather than overburden your wardrobe with loads of Ankara material. You spent such a lot of money on buying aso ebi for so many occasions the previous year and you really do not want to spend more money on such frivolity. But the ”wifey” doesn’t see it as you do. “It’s just 5k,” she says sweetly. “Besides, they bought for our own wedding.” And to avoid any argument over ‘just 5k’, you have been giving in.  Sometimes with some skilful persuasion, you are able to convince her that you both wear one of the pairs of matching clothes that have crammed your wardrobe instead os spending money on a new one, and she grudgingly gives in.

You wonder silently though why you didn’t get the memo before the wedding, that to be a respectable Nigerian couple, you and your wife must always dress alike. To declare to the world that you are one, once you are together, you must always wear matching outfits. If it was left to you, you’d prefer to wear your white kaftan while she wears her purple lace. Or you’d rather dress corporate in a suit and tie, while she goes for the full traditional attire. But marriage comes with its own expectations. You had to try to make the most of every situation.

“’Dear,” you call out. “That 10k for Tinuke’s asoebi, do you mind lending it to me?”

“I can’t afford it right now.”

“What? But I can’t afford it either,” your wife responds and you hear her footsteps as she begins to come out of the room.

You smile mischievously. Perhaps now, she might be made to see things your way.

P.S: Just how far has the aso ebi fad eaten into the fabric of Nigerian homes? Is there an unwritten memo that for a Nigerian couple to be the picture of marital bliss, husbands and wives must always appear in matching outfits? /Use the comment box to express your opinions.