The End Of the Story

So it’s been a very long time I have been on here. I have gone from despairing about ever writing at all to wondering if I have anything left to say, to wondering if my writing ever mattered to anyone.  So much has happened in my personal life and around the world. But … we’re still here. And possibly, I can still put my virtual pen to paper. I don’t how long it will be or how often I would do it… but the story continues.  It isn’t totally dead yet. We are not yet at the end.

This thought encourages me when I look at recent happenings around the world. Despite the recent terror attacks, love triumphs over hate. God’s light pierces the darkness. The reason why in this uncertain times  we can walk with  Him, trust in him and worship Him is because we know that He knows the end of the story. And we can be rest assured that it is a good ending because we love Him. Remember this today, this weekend and the rest of the year. He’s writing your story; and though the plot seems to thicken and there are many twists and turns, you know that you’ll smile when you get to the very last page.


The Science Of Love

love science 2

We are taking a short break this week from fusspot series to honor valentine.

The Science of Love.


Most of us have definitely felt that rush… that tingling sensation when we look into another person’s eyes and see some deep emotion mirrored there.

But love is so much more than a feeling only. Scientists claim that love is very much like a drug. It is something that we absorb, gets distributed throughout the body and then exerts its action throughout the whole body. There is a lot of science and art behind this thing we call love. In medicine, a lot of hormones have been associated with love and a lot have been released with their functions such as:

Oxytocin and vasopressin- Research shows that these two hormones interact to allow the dynamic behavioural states and behaviors necessary for love. It is said that oxytocin is one of the fundamental hormones for lasting love.

Phenylethylamine-anxiety and stomach burn at that first date.

Endorphins-It’ s that hormone responsible for pleasure when you’re with your partner.

Testoterone-It is responsible for the rush of sexual desire in men which usually activates the senses in a particular order – vision, sound, smell and taste. Other symptoms include: increased pulse, dilating of pupils and salivation.

It is widely advised that if your relationship is undergoing some problems that you should learn to watch for changes in your biochemistry. All these chemicals running around in your brain are often triggered without your conscious thought, and you are left with making sense of them and how they affect your decision making.

Apart from the hormones in our brain, every part of our body also responds in its own way when we are in love. Right from the top downwards:

Our eyes: We have a special look that we give the one we love. It could be seductive or a knowing look that shows that you have an important secret that you both share or it might be the way your eyes light up when you catch a glimpse of the person you love. Sometimes, your eyes can do what your mouth does-smile!

Our nose: We lean in deep to smell their cologne or perfume.

Our mouth: We definitely smile first, then kiss them or brush our lips against theirs or their cheek or their forehead.

Our neck: We move our head and neck as close to them as possible

Our arms: We hold them tight in an embrace

Our hands: We touch every part of them that we have been permitted to touch, trace their fingertips, clasp their hands in ours, and brush a straying hair away.

Our heart: It beats faster when we see them more so after a physical expression of love, like a touch an embrace or a kiss.

Our belly: That’s where the phrase butterfly feeling comes from.

Our feet: Run towards them when we see them coming in the distance. Also our feet can get a special treat from the ones we love and we don’t even have to pay for it-a feet massage.

Whatever we do to express our love and however we respond to the person we love, we must not forget this salient fact: a life without love is not a life fully lived. Although research into mechanisms through which love protects us against stress and disease is in its infancy, this knowledge will ultimately increase our understanding of the way that our emotions have an impact on health and disease. We have much to learn about love and much to learn from love itself and we should endeavor to never stop learning.


Diary of a Fusspot(5)


Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one who saw Titi’s tear stained face the previous day. Apparently Christy had seen it too when Titi was walking back home because by midday the next day she was knocking on my door. Somehow that woman manages to see everything from her window. How she does that in between watching African magic and forever fixing her nails I’ll never know. Ok, maybe I exaggerate a little.

“So what was wrong with her?” Christy demanded to know.

Did she think I was a psychic?

“She told me she thinks it’s the stress of the move. That it affected her nerves,” I said flatly.

Christy laughed in disbelief. “Tell that to the birds my friend!”

“I told you since the first day I met her I knew she was hiding something. Maybe she’s in some financial trouble. Only politicians can afford that kind of house which I doubt she is. Or maybe she has a terminal illness like cancer. Or maybe her husband is cheating on her…”

“Christy stop, just stop speculating!” I said and raised a had attempting to halt the conversation.

“We should be praying for the woman not speculating about what is happening to her.”

“Yes, we should pray Chinelo. But is it not better to know what to pray about so our prayers would be focused? You should have asked her Chinelo. If I was here I would have got it from her.”

I’m sure you would, I thought dryly.

Aloud I said: “It doesn’t matter Christy. We can pray for her all the same.”

Then in an attempt to put an end to the subject, I put on the TV for her while I excused myself to change and feed the baby. While doing that, my mind kept reverting to something Christy had said about her husband. From the way Titi reacted it seemed plausible that the cause of her upset could stem from her marriage, because I had just mentioned her husband’s name before she burst into tears. Whatever it was, I had a strong hunch that it had something to do with her husband. How to find out the truth and how to help her I didn’t really have a clue.

Ike came back home the same way he left looking perplexed and bothered. My tall handsome muscular husband with a perpetually smiley face now having worry wrinkles on his forehead and a frown was not something I was used to. Still, he would not talk to me or reveal what the problem was. I wanted to force a showdown. Talk to me or else…

Then I thought better of it. It may only make things worse. He would talk in his own time. Then a thought crept into my brain. He better not be cheating on me or else…I could feel myself breaking into a sweat.

T got down on my knees and prayed. God was the revealer of secrets. He alone knew what was going on in Ike and Titi’s minds. Baby needed my attention and I was getting ready to feed her when Ike came into the nursery.

“’There’s been an investigation in the company Chinelo,” he said plopping down beside me. We had auditors come in and now I’m being accused of corruption. Myself and two other branch level managers.”

I nearly put the baby down as the icy hands of fear gripped my heart. No, this could not be happening.

Ike’s voice droned on. It seemed like it was coming from far away. “I have been suspended for two weeks until this issue is sorted out.”

His hands grip mine. “I don’t want you to worry Chinelo. We’re going to be fine.” I nod dumbly while I see flashbacks of the Louie Vitton bag he bought me for my birthday and our trip to Paris last year. It couldn’t be that it was true, could it? I knew Ike. He wouldn’t do a thing like that. Or would he?

I knew I was supposed to say something encouraging to him but I just nodded dumbly.

He answered my unspoken question. “I didn’t do it Chinelo,” he said softly.

I hugged him in relief. “Of course you didn’t,” I whispered in his ear. Nonetheless my safe secure world had come crashing down.